Courageous Prayer

There are days I wake up and I feel like I am living one big blonde moment.  It is like, I hear things being said, but nothing is sinking in.  I find myself at a cross roads.  I have some decisions to make, and while they have been looming around, it is like all the sudden a doorbell went off in my head that said, DING DONG, wake up decide now, not later!

It is a funny thing, when I find myself needing God's direction, I usually don't ask for it.  Or better yet, I ask and then don't wait to see what he says.  I spent my evening praying that I would hear what God is calling me to do, and I spent half the morning not listening.  I had three conversations with three different people and each one of them said the same thing to me.  Then like a light switch I ask, is this one of those times God is using people to get his message across?  Oh but wait!! Change is scary!

I find it NO coincidence that my scripture reading was about being courageous.  In Sunday school, we started the book of Joshua.  I missed class yesterday to snuggle babies in my monthly rotation at the nursery.  I read my homework last night as the rest of my household was sleeping.  I am not sure that I have ever read the complete book of Joshua, but it drew me in right in chapter one. 

It begins with Joshua being God's chosen leader to follow the footsteps of Moses.  WOW, can you imagine?  I certainly can not imagine Joshua and how he must have felt, but according to my conclusion from scripture, he must have been afraid.  This was a huge change for Joshua, and change can be paralyzed by fear. God instructs Joshua four different times to be strong and courageous.

VS 9: "Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."

The chapter continues to give instructions on how the Israelites will finally go into the Holy land.  God gave them specific instructions on how and when they would cross into the Holy land, and all Joshua and the other had to do was obey God's instructions.

Fast forward to 2012. VS 9 " Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."   What does that mean to me today?  For me it means, that the Lord will be with me wherever I go, and more importantly, I need to remember to take him with me.  The verses prior to this instruct  Joshua to, "keep the book of  law always on your lips."  This is a reminder to me, that I should be in prayer for God's direction.  I pray all the time for the needs of others, and the concerns of other, but it seems rarely do I have the conversation with God, am I in your will?  Am I doing what you want me to do?  Then even worse, I don't stop to listen.

Clearly there is a message from God for each of us as to how we complete His perfect plan for us as individuals.  I am wondering today, have I been listening?  Have I been too afraid of change or the unknown?  I believe and scripture tells us that God does not give us a spirit of fear. (2 Timothy 1:7).  Interesting, the chosen leader after Moses, Joshua, had to be reminded four times, to be strong and courageous.  In my mind the people from the Bible heard God like the sound of James Earl Jones loudly and all around, and even with that assurance of the voice of God and the presence of the Ark of the covenant, there was still fear.

So, I wonder what are the characteristics of a strong and courageous person?  How do the biblical examples crush their fear?  The first person to pop into my mind is King David.  There is not only a man after God's own heart, but a strong and courageous one at that!  The identifying feature of the great courageous examples of the bible seems to be prayer.  King David as shown in many Psalms, that he called out to Jesus, "Lord hear my cry...."  (I did a keyword search at bible gateway for Lord hear my cry, and there were 17 results.  Keep in mind that each translation uses different terms, so there could be more.)  King David had fear, but he never let it stop him from praying and calling out to God.  He always trusted faithfully that God would answer and he would obey that answer.  Each of the great biblical examples had dedicated prayer lives that were filled will all needs, not just some.

This leads me to conclude that to be strong and courageous means that my prayer life needs to be well rounded.  My prayers need to not only be about others, but also about my own needs and insecurities. I need to call out to the Lord and faithfully wait on His answer and obey His direction. Fear can be crushed by confidence and faith in God.  Confidence comes from the Lord, because it is a result of obediently doing something right, honorable, and righteous.  In other words, doing the will of God.  The Lord clearly promises over and over again, that He is with us wherever we go.  As a result of the new covenant, we have the holy spirit living in us.  This is an incredible power that can be harnessed if we only ask, if we only pray.

I have blogged about prayer before, and I think it is awesome.  However, like I said from the beginning, I find that when I really need prayer or have something going on, I tend to not mention it to God.  There is a part of me that is like, "Oh, he knows!"  Well, I am reminding myself today, that I need to pray fully for all my concerns and ask for my needs, or something better!  (Ephesians 3:17-20)  Prayer is the road to courage.

I love this song and am considering it my new theme song!

"So long status quo, I think I'll just let go.  You make me want to be brave!"

This is my mindset, now let me hear yours!

A good thing to lose

I was driving home the other day flipping through a CD that I had not listened to all the way through yet.  The title of one of the songs has been resonating in my head.  The song was called: What do you have to lose?  It has me thinking about a few good things to lose.

For those of you who know me well, are probably wondering if I am going to talk about weight loss.   The answer is NO, not exactly, well maybe a little.  I am still currently not in favor of doing anything remotely like exercise or dieting.  I have said it before, I NEED TO, but I am not committed in my head.  Although I did see a picture of me today, and thought to myself, "HELLO CHUBBY!  What is up with those rolls, and who let you leave the house like that!"  It is still not enough to make me throw away the bag of M&M's I have hidden in my drawer.  Let's face it, there will be NO YOGA in my immediate future.  After all, I believe yoga to be a bunch of tree hugging hippies, standing like trees and well, I am not the type to buy recycled paper.

However, a few days after I started writing this, I believe I am coming closer to thinking weight loss is a good thing.  You see, I took my daughter to the park.  It was one of those fancy playground sets with all sorts of twisting things you can hang from and climb.  It also had a faux zip line.  I know what you are thinking: DID YOU?  Why yes, yes I did.  Here is where the change of heart comes in, MY ARMS ARE KILLING ME!  It has been two days and they are still sore.  It might as well have been yoga, because just like yoga, all I was doing was holding my own weight.  There is nothing more eye opening than two days later still hurting from carrying nothing but myself!  Need I mention, I only did it once, and not even for the whole line!

I guess the moral of the story is sometimes the weight you carry is unnecessary and you should just let it go.


Back to my point....

My original thought on this blog was inspired by a reminiscent moment.  I was thinking of things that I had lost that had in fact turned out to be really good things to loose, even if at the time they seemed to be heartbreaking.

The first thing that pops into my mind was when I swore that I would never date again.  I remember the night so well.  It was like a scene out of Bridget Jones Diary, minus the cigarettes and alcohol.  I was listening to that sad song by Ginny Owens, If you want me to....

I was feeling all alone, crying my eyes out.  I was a teary eyed mess.  When I prayed and said this,"  I give up, GOD. I am going to let you take control of my dating life.  I am done."  It was about six weeks later that I met my husband.  I gave up the control I thought I had and give it to God.  Loosing control and letting God in was one of the best decisions I ever made!

Another great loss has been fear coupled closely with guilt. Now I am not saying that I never get scared.  On the contrary I do get scared, but now my fear is different.  While I feel fear I don't feel alone, I feel secure in the arms of Jesus.  Where I had guilt before over a life lead without a walk with Jesus, I feel a blessed assurance of forgiveness.  There are times that my head wants to play back old memories and pretend that they were good, or say that I can not be forgiven.  The keeper of my heart, reminds me that I am not only forgiven but dearly loved and fear and guilt are not of God. "For God does not give us a spirit of fear, but one of power, love and self-discipline." 2 Timothy 1:7

There ARE good things to lose.  I want to keep loosing.  The Bible says:

"For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and for the gospel will save it."  Mark 8:35

I see this verse differently now.  I think I read it with a worldly eye before, but now I see it with the eye of a growing Christian.  I don't want to save a life that is full of fear, pride, selfishness, and guilt.  I want to lose that life and live the life that is forgiven and loved.  

I guess the moral of the story really is the same:  Sometimes the weight you carry is unnecessary and you should just let it go.

If the weight is physical or the weight of a burden, loosing it is in fact a good thing.  I think each type of weight can pose a difficult challenge.  So I ask, will you be willing to loose your life and give it to Jesus?  Then my next question, to diet or not?

This is my mindset, now let me hear yours!
 

From regular woman to mommy!

It was about 5 years ago when I went from young married woman to mommy.  I had no concept of just how much my life was going to change.

I would say the first thing that I had to get use to was the "poop" conversations.  I am the kinda girl who likes to keep my bathroom time private, and the thought of discussing poop on a regular basis was a real adjustment for me.  All mommy's know that when you have a baby, you are on poop patrol.  The doctor tells you how many times a baby should poop, and so as a new parent you wait and watch.  You call your spouse at work to say things like,"We have had our poops for the day!"  As my daughter has grown, the poop conversations still happen.  The potty training, "bye-bye poopie!"  Or "Mommy where does my poop come from?"  And "Mommy, where does my poop go when I flush the toilet?  In a million years, I never thought I would have to discuss poop as much as I do as a mother. 

Then there is the MOM bag.  The mom bag is the bag that comes after the diaper bag.  It is for the 3-5 possibly older kid.  While it looks like a regular purse it has been modified.  It has snacks, wipes, tissues, band aides, Neosporin, crayons, and Lysol spray or wipes.  At the bottom it also contains a thin layer of snack crumbs, used wipes, and tissues.  These items are essential for your every day on the go tasks.  It is also at this stage where you suddenly see the practicality that is a mini-van.  Let's face it, any car that you can open a door by the press of a button has value when your hands are full and you are being tugged on and "mommied" to death.

There is just something about being a mom.  I never thought I would be a mom, I wasn't sure I wanted to.  Now that I am, there are times I feel as though I have lost my mind.  I mean really, just read the previous paragraph.  (Said in a sarcastic tone)  The mini-van is cool, WHAT who am I becoming!  Before you know it I am going to want mom jeans like this:

While I think that this is funny, there is one thing that is no joke.  I love being a mother.  I love that I get to experience one of God's miracles everyday.  I am honored to watch my daughter grow, and hope that I honor God in how I raise her.  As we prepare for Mother's day, I hope that each of you mom's can laugh about the way life changes with kids.  As we celebrate mother's day, I hope we each stop and thank God for our mothers and grandmothers and the lives they changed for us!  Love to each of you moms and grandmas!

Lastly I will share this:

Now go and bust a cap on toothpaste! 
This is my mindset, now let me hear yours!

Lonely Noise Turned Loving Noise

I started writing this over a week ago.  However, I feel a tugging in my heart that I should finish this and post it today!  So here goes nothing!


There are so many things swirling around in my head.  Things I want to say and stories I want to tell.  However, in my thoughts there seems to be an underlying theme.  Loneliness.  It is as if in every part of my life I see people and the common theme is loneliness.

There are so many ways for people to keep in contact these days, that we take for granted we are actually talking to each other.  I can send an email or a quick text message but when is the last time you took the time to sit and visit with some one for the sake of visiting?  We constantly have some sort of media around us all the time; hang on my phone is ringing, I have a text message, or wait let me Google that!  I see that people are surrounded all the time by conversation and noise, but so often I hear them say, I have no one to TALK to. 

I think one of Satan's greatest weapons may be the whispers found in our own heads saying, you are all alone.  Clearly you can go on Facebook or Twitter and have hundreds of friends who will "Like" what you are saying or "follow you."  I ask this, how many will stop their day, take the time to ask how you are really doing? Then the next question is, why not?  Or,  will you really tell them how you are doing?

I believe there is a lie out there, and it says: NO ONE CARES.  It is propagated by the media.  The stories on the evening news tell of tragedies that were forgotten or of injustices done, while these stories may be true, I do not believe that they are the "NORM."  We desensitize our lives and act as if things don't really matter, when they do.  It is funny, people will unite in protest over an alleged injustice, but the unification is almost never without some violence, bad language, or destruction of property.  In the midst of all the outrage, you never see anyone actually caring for the victims.  The only time you see care for a victim on TV is in the case of a natural disaster, but that is often coupled with an element of criticism over the type or quality of care.

I believe that people do still care about people.  We spend our time talking, talking, talking, but not acting, acting, acting.  As a Christian, it is hard to live the words of God.  As a Christian, there is a constant commentary on how to be and how not to be: are you being inclusive or judgmental?  In all the rhetoric surrounding how we should be, it appears as though many are just not moving in any direction.  If we want to change our society, our home, our lives, sometimes the place to start is with ourselves.  The media would say, you have no personal responsibility, it is your parents fault, or well, anybody  fault except your own.  However, I have found that when I want some one or something to change, the change has to start in my heart and attitude first.

I believe that loneliness is the single thing that drives most of the problems we have today.  We fill our lives with white noise.  We talk about things of no importance, and hope that the important things are handled by someone other than ourselves.  We may ask each other how we are doing, but the answer is seldom more than a, "Oh I am fine, same old same old."  The truth is that we would feel less alone if we shared our lives with one another on a level deeper than the superficial.

It is not only sharing our lives with others, we also need to share our lives with GOD.  I sometimes find myself fumbling around in my head questioning my life and decisions only to end up thinking I've done everything wrong.  I contemplate my life with diabetes and all the sudden NO ONE can understand and I have fatally wounded myself with worry and what if's.  I carry it on my heart and do not speak a word about it to anyone except maybe a casual, "I am OK but," mention to my family.  It is when I am broken that God reminds me, "Cast all your care upon HIM for He cares for you."  It is like an epiphany, in all my worry and conversations in my head, I realize I should be sharing this with God.


I think we all want to hash things out, out loud to God and with trusted friends.  However,  it is easy to carry a burden creating loneliness and wish it away, without giving it away to God.  After all, without the presence of God those burdens only seem to gain weight.  I don't know about you, but I don't need any extra weight!  We carry our real burdens with us, and so often we tell no one, not even God.  We think that they are unimportant, too embarrassing, or that no one else could possibly understand. That is the lie that Satan would like us to believe.  He wants us to feel alone and isolated.  The truth is that we have a loving God.    We have a God in Jesus who became human to understand all of us.  All we have to do is share our concerns with him, trust him, and most of all believe that He is the son of God.  When we share our burdens and lives with Him life is not lonely, but abundant.   If we will allow ourselves to be open and vulnerable to share our lives, He will not only fill us with the Holy Spirit, but he will give us people at the right time to encourage us, and help us live a life connected and fulfilled.

Today,  I challenge you, to stop leading a life of the lonely and start sharing it with God.  Take the burden you are carrying and hand it over to God.  I challenge you to ask someone:  How are you today?  Then really listen to the answer.  I challenge you to pray for your concerns and for the concerns of a friend or two.  Let's make this life of constant noise, be noise that is loving to one another.  Let's silence the loneliness and fill our lives with more God and more love!

This is my mindset, now let me hear yours.

Weakness

Today was a hard diabetes day.  I have been sick for about 10 days now, and I am not shaking it the way I want to.  The thing I hate about being sick on top of diabetes is that I am forced to face the awful word limitations.  I am forced to face my limitations, which in turn makes me feel weak. It is also the time when I get scared.  I could have a regular cold, but in my head it is the beginning of the complications that are associated with diabetes.  Let me qualify this by saying, that the fear only comes after a round of antibiotics and still not much improvement.  As I have said before, diabetes life most of the time is just something I do, and not often do I find myself in the dull drums of diabetes.  Today has been a beat myself up, talk myself down, scare myself day, because I am tired of it.

I sit and think; maybe some chocolate would do the trick?  Then I am reminded, that chocolate will only make me feel worse about myself.   Chocolate tastes so sweet but it betrays me with the high blood sugar, and weight gain.  Oh sweet sweet chocolate you are a tasty tragedy!

The first few days I was sick, this was my prayer.  Dear God, please let this take its course and please show me what I need so I do not have to repeat this anytime soon.   As a result of my Bible study on trials, I was thinking, this is a short trial.  I want to learn what I need to learn so that it will pass, and I will be left stronger, immune-ally speaking.  Then by Friday, I was calling out to God, ok, cough cough, cough, I am, cough cough, cough, ready to be better.  While I feel better, I am not completely better, and I have set into frustration and discouragement.  It took all I had to go to bible study this morning.  I had not done my homework.  I purposely skipped the first hour thinking I could get there in time to see the video portion, and that I would not have to share.

God had something very different in mind.  This week, they watched the video first!  I sat there with almost nothing written in my book.  I had not even read the sections of the study.  As I sat there listening to the over view of each of the 5 days’ worth of homework.  God gave me this: 

“My grace is sufficient for you, my power made perfect in weakness……”   
2 Corinthians 12:9

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I have heard this verse like about a million times.  Immediately that Christian song by Chris Tomlin; Your Grace is enough, comes to mind.  I am singing it in my head now.  For me, the real nugget here is that God’s power is perfected in weakness. 

Today I feel weak.  My spirit is weak, my resolve is weary and I feel a bit of a mess.   It is like I need to just cry it out or whatever, so I can get on with the getting on!  However, according to the rest of 2 Corinthians 12:9-10: 

“….. Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities.  For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

Now if I read that right, then GOD is closest to me when I feel this way.  He feels my heart ache and frustrations over the things I cannot change.  The power of Christ rests on me.  That is incredibly encouraging, a little scary, and almost overwhelming.  I admit, I cried a little after I left class.  I guess my tears were a mix of comfort, and guilt.  After all, I didn’t do my part (homework/scripture reading/ and struggled with my prayers in the last week), but GOD IS STILL DOING HIS PART EVERY DAY ALL THE TIME!  Amazing!

It is funny how with God, it is always perfect timing.  He knew that I needed to sit and listen.  He knew exactly what I needed to hear.  I would love to say that I am never going to be discouraged again, but I am hoping that the next time I am caught in the feel sorry for myself syndrome, I will remember that in my weakness, God’s grace is enough, and His power made perfect in weakness. 

As the day draws to a close, I find that after writing this and pondering these verses, I am renewed.   I am in fact made strong knowing that, at the end of the day God is enough.  It is his strength I need to rely on, not my own.  I will continue to walk this life with diabetes and there will be more tough days ahead.  I hope that I will remember that those days when I am discouraged, scared, and at my weakest are really the days that God is closest to me whispering," My power is made perfect in your weakness, let me rest my power upon you."

This is my mind set, now let me hear yours!

The politics of Life

I try not to get too political in my blogs.  However, lately the issue of abortion has been on my mind a lot.  There has been lots of media coverage of women's health and the health care laws.  There are a couple of messages that I think have been missed.


First, the media and television glorifies sexual relationships.  They make whole shows surrounding the drama of the lives of people having sex.  There never seems to be any outrage from anyone, saying, "Uh hum, excuse me, these are teenagers or, hello, these people aren't married."  They glamorize this lifestyle, and make it seem as though it is normal everyday life.  I don't live in la-la land, and I realize that people are going to make mistakes.  I just wish that some where along the way, someone would be brave enough to stand up and say," You don't have to keep on repeating your mistakes.  Instead it is considered normal to just continue the race forward down a road filled with broken hearted consequences.  It just makes me sad that the teenagers of the world are almost made famous for their bad behavior.  It seems as though no one has step up to say, "it is ok to stop."  There seems to be no reassurance or encouragement that is not only ok to stop, but a good thing.  Instead they are offered school programs that encourage contraceptives and abortions.

I would encourage you to watch the following movie. This 30 minute documentary is about abortion and is incredibly powerful.  I hope that when you have time you will watch, and solidify your view on abortion.


http://youtu.be/7y2KsU_dhwI

Everyone is talking about the up coming election and it being a historical election.  I believe this to be true, but not for the same reasons that the media is talking about.  While I am not a one issue voter, I believe now more than ever that life is the key issue.  We can not vote for someone who is pro-choice.  The fact is that if they are pro-choice that means they are for murder.  It means that with the new health care law, they are for setting up a panel of people to make choices for your life.  These people will come together to decide if you are worth paying for or not.  If these same pro-abortion people are on the panel, would they not also consider that the very old are not worth saving either?  The same politicians who are spending more money than they are taking in are going to decide the age at which you may or may not be productive enough to save.  These matter-of-fact opinions that do not view a fetus as a life, will now be considering the life of someone in their 70's.  At 70 have you already seen your best days?  I for one, have decided this may be the single most important issue for our time.

We are rapidly approaching Easter.  A time when Christians celebrate the life and resurrection of Jesus.  What a beautiful miracle, and great love that was shown to us, by Jesus's sacrifice on the cross.  He gave his LIFE so that we may have LIFE everlasting.  It is my believe that LIFE and miracles are Jesus's expertise and when he gives them or takes them away, it is His decision.  I would rather leave it in God's hands and not some politician.

This is my mind set, now let me hear yours!

Trials and joy

About 3 weeks ago, I had a few days that went like this:  my 4 year old daughter goes to dentist, and she has a cavity.  It has to be filled by the pediatric dentist and they will give her sedation.  This was a little un-nerving for this first timer.  Then my husband truck is stolen from our drive way.  We find out that it was used to traffice illegals.  Also another un-nerving moment for me, as I think about the lives of those people who were crammed into our truck.  Then a day or two passes, and my car will not start.  I sat there stunned and ready to cry, and did a little.  Conclusion, my life was ready to start my new Bible study: When life is hard, by James Mcdonald.

I actually had a good laugh after I stopped crying!  It was like God was saying I have a few things I want to teach you.   I am learning about life in the midst of trial.  I love the definition that the study applies to trial.  Trial is defined as: a painful circumstance allowed by God to change our conduct or character.  I love the idea of being refined to become a better person, but wouldn't it be nice if there was no suffering involved?  However, the Bible is clear without suffering there is no endurance, which leads to character, which leads to hope. (Romans Chpt 5)

The study has asked me to identify trials in my life and my reactions to them.  This has been an interesting discovery for me.  It sounds crazy I know, but I am having a hard time defining the trials of my life.  Well, I can identify the trials that have been heartbreaking, or devistaing.   My reaction to most really big trials are the same.  I pray, I tell myself over and over and over again that God is in control and He is good and loving, and I am going to make it.  This is a good thing.  The problem comes with my view of the small trials, and daily annoyances.  Each of which I can't say I define them as trials, I have always just considered them life.  I have never considered the impact of the small circumstances that can shape conduct and character.  I have just dealt with them.

Naturally, I am asking myself now, what are the daily or weekly trials that I am experiencing that I have not previously noticed?   This parallels one of the points from a previous study.  That point being that God is concerned with all of my concerns.  He wants to be involved in the small trials and the big trials.  I DO NOT GET TO CHOOSE where God can be!  That saying Let go and let God is almost ridiculous.  Like we LET GOD do anything.  Now, I am not saying that we don't need to let go and let God.  On the contrary I think we often stand in the way of what could be done much more effieciently if we accepted that we must be obedient to God.

Then what do we do as we are in trial and sharing our concerns with God.  Well this verse is pretty clear:  "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds." James 1:2
Sounds like a crazy idea, having joy in the midst of a trial.  However, if we are obediently trusting in God during a trial we can have supernatural joy.  That is to say joy that comes directly from the Holy Spirit.  It is kind of like the verse in Ephesians that says you can have the peace that surpasses all understanding.  That kind of peace can only come from something greater than anyone can muster alone. 

I guess I am going to have to make some changes when I meet the daily and weekly trials and annoyances.  Now when someone cuts me off on the highway, or cuts in front of me in line at the grocery store, I am going to count it all joy!  When that suprise medical bill comes in the mail, or the unexpected car repair, it is all joy!  I am going to remember joy is a choice and God provides it when I focus on him.

This is my mindset, now let me hear yours!