As a women, I think we all have voices in our heads. These voices can be the insecurities of our hearts ringing our ears, telling us all the things we should've, could've, or would've done better if this or that. I have had a couple of weeks where I let the voices in my head tell me things that made each day a bigger challenge, a bigger heart break, and more drama than they really needed to be.
The voice started with, you are not good enough. At the end of that statement you can insert almost anything, and that is where I took it. I was not a good enough mom, wife, employee, and Christian. I found myself metaphorically hitting myself at every step I took. It is that moment when you wake up in the morning, your grey hair meets you at the mirror, and you look down, and think," oh dear God, I am not suppose to look this old!" Then you head to the kitchen craving a doughnut for breakfast. It only takes one thought to poison your mind and set you up for a day of discouragement.
I have obviously been thinking too much. Analyzing my life and how I am living. I have picked apart all aspects of my life thinking, how can I make next week better. How can next week not be full of mistakes? How can I get next week under control, and back into a rhythm that doesn't feel like treading water?
Here is what God says:
1 Peter 4: 12-13
Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. 13 But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.
We live in a world that fills us with lies about who we are and who we should be. I have said it before, and will say it again, I believe Satan's favorite weapons are the voices in our heads. The verse above says we should not be surprised by his attacks, and infers that we should expect them. He fills us with things like doubt, and confuses us with tiny twists on God's word that appeal to our human nature. He whispers in our ears things like," you should have", or "if only", but the truth is that is not the truth. God is our definition. What does God say about us and to us, these are the things we should have sealed in our hearts and fresh in our minds. One of my favorite truths is the following verse:
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, 2 because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.
This verse is a sweet reminder that God does not condemn those who believe in Jesus. While we may sin and make mistakes, He wants us to remmeber that we are in fact free from the chains of sin by the death and ressurrection of Christ Jesus. Because we are free through Christ, why oh why should we continue to relive the mistakes and regrets of the past?
I find that when I am struggling with the voices in my head, I often pray less, read my bible less, and assume the treading water position. I dislike this about myself. However, I think that it is a common theme for many Christians. The daily struggles are sometimes more difficult than the really big trials. It is simple, if I am sure that I can not handle it, I let God. BUT if I think I might be able to fix it, or I think it just isn't big enough to take to God, that is when the trouble begins for me. When in reality, I should hand all struggles over to God.
If you have read my blog then you know I hate the word submission. However, I find that when I am in submission to God, life is so much easier. When I quit fighting the struggle is not so stressful on my muscles. In submission to God, there is a peace that takes over, right before the joy comes to fill my heart. It doesn't matter the situation, big or small. when I am in God's will, when I am praying and reading his word, there is a confidence, I don't otherwise have.
I still have weeks when the voices in my head try to take over. The voices tell me who the world thinks I should be, but not who I am or who God wants me to be. I found a few verse that I want to remember next time, I am struggling with the voices in my head. Here are a few truths from God's word.
Psalm 139: 14
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
But to each one of us grace has been given as Christ apportioned it.
And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.
2 Timohty 1:7
For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.
These are just a few of the precious truths about me, that I often shove aside in lieu of the voices in my head. I AM fearfully and wonderfully made. God's grace IS sufficient for ALL my shortcomings. My needs are fulfilled by God to His glory. (NOT my wants!) Fear is not of God, but power, love, and self discipline is how I was created to be. I pray that next time you have a week or two that are filled with voices, doubts, and discouragement, you will remember that in God's eyes you and I are worth and loved so much more than we tell ourselves.
This is my mindset, now let me hear yours!