Since I was a little girl, Church was part of my life. I went to a private Christian school, and was in church nearly every Sunday. However, I consider myself a new Christian, because it was only about 5 years ago when I really gave my life to Him and actively started to seek Him. I was pregnant with my daughter at the time, and after living with type 1 diabetes for approximately 20 years, I was scared. I knew the only way to have a healthy baby was to completely surrender my life to Jesus. I knew that my discipline and abilities were not enough to survive the pregnancy without the Lord taking a leading role.
Fast forward about 4 years. I sat at a celebration for women at our church last night. I had been to the endocrinologist for a routine check up. My check-up went ok, no major issues or new things to address with the Dr. Then however, it was time to see the Diabetes Educator/ NUTRITIONIST. (Bolded and capped because this is the section of diabetes that I hate the most!) My DE, is actually a great friend of mine who is diabetic as well. We sat and talked about my control and the future of complications in my life. You see with diabetes, it is not really if, it is more like when. With great blood sugar control, you can make complications stay far away for a while, but at some point, they will occur in some form. My overall control is not terrible, but all of the sudden, there is more at stake in my life. I have a beautiful daughter, a very loving and generous husband. I have wonderful in-laws, fantastic parents, and a small place in the world where most of the time everything is good. It hit me like a rock as I sat in church last night and listened to the worship leader. When was the last time I handed this over to Jesus? More importantly, why had I ever taken it back?
That is the way life is sometimes. We offer things to God, we get the short-term satisfaction, and we feel blessed by God. Then as time passes and the lesson is lost in daily life, just the place we need Him most. For me, I truly surrendered once, but after a while, I was back to, “I got this one God.” Philippians 4:13 says, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me,” I wonder how often am I really doing this? Today I admit, not as often as I should.
What are your thoughts? Are you relying on God or yourself? If you are relying on yourself, how is that working for you?