My husband and I are coming up on our 10 years anniversary. I love that man. I love him so much, sometimes I just want to smother him while he lays there snoring, LOUDLY very LOUDLY! When I got married, I didn't know much about being married, and after ten years, it is safe to say I am still learning. Here are a few things I do know.
Humor is one of the keys to my marriage. We say it all the time, if we didn't have humor, one of us would be dead. My mother in law told me that when she asked my hubby why he wanted to marry me, he said, "because she just makes me laugh." She also said she knew we were meant to be when at my bridal shower, I was asked the same thing, and I said,"He just makes me laugh." We work because we laugh. We work because there is a time for humor and a time to let go of the things that are sometimes said regretfully. We use our humor to ease forgiveness for the many moments we speak before thinking. We jokingly say that we have been married 84 LONG years, but they have been wonderful years! After all that time we still make each other laugh almost every day. It is a good way to live, and to build longevity in life and marriage!
I am not going to change that man! I know where his boots are going to be, and that I am going to trip over them every night! I know that he likes to drink Maalox out of the bottle solely to gross me out. (Just an FYI, label my bottle so he won't touch it!) He also likes to gulp his water on purpose to irritate me. He often leaves his clothes right next to the dirty clothes basket, and has a tendency to leave doors open. The medicine cabinet in particular. I write all this knowing that I have my share of bad habits and idiosyncrasies that drive him crazy. However, after 10 years, these are things I should not fuss over or try to change. If I spent all my time harping on the little things, what fun would that be? After all, we have a daughter to raise, and there are enough differences in opinion there to keep us in "discussion" for a lifetime.
"In your marriage you can't keep score!" This is the best advice we were given and STILL reminded of to this day. (Given by my mother-in-law.) While it is hard to live like that, I try not to waste my time complaining about the things that are not going to change. I often ask myself is this really important in the grand scheme of things? I believe when change is necessary it should be made first by my attitude. I find that if I change my attitude from nagging wife, change comes so much easier and nicer. This works everyday except Sunday. Sunday is the day when no matter how hard we try, there is an arguement before Church. The argument usually has to do with who is the root cause of why we are running late, or just how long does it take him to get out of my space! Either way, the result always ends up in us laughing about Sunday being our designated day to fight!
God is the center of our marriage. While my husband and I speak two totally different languages, we can agree on one thing. That is God is the most important part of our lives. We have to put Him first, act according to His will, and train our daughter to love Jesus and righteousness. Now if my husband was telling this he would put it like this, "If you don't love Jesus you are stupid." Or He may say, God is in control, we don't have to worry." He doesn't use "churchy" words or elegant phrases. As a matter of fact he often can not speak as fast as his mind is moving and therefore, either stumbles over his words or completely omits things speaking in fragmented sentences. The truth is, when we were married we were united before God and together we try to live and love as God has called us to. In chapter 8, verse 31 of Romans says, "If God is for us, who then can be against us." We take our vows seriously.
I hope that the next ten years and beyond will continue to be a blessing. The Lord has given me someone who is truly my match. I have loved every minute, good and bad. I hope that when we reach our golden years, that we still laugh as much as we do now!
This is my mindset, now let me hear yours.