Sunday, July 15, 2012
Tonight I cleaned my kitchen in my underwear. Yep, you read that right! It was strangely empowering! I scrubbed the sink, and began to wonder how it had come to this? I normally clean fully dressed but, I had given my daughter a bath, and she managed to get one of my legs completely wet. As I passed the sink with the dinner dishes stacked in it, it only made sense to clean up. There I stood in the kitchen cleaning in my undies asking myself, how did I become THIS MIRANDA? What am I becoming?
This is what I think I am becoming:
A mother. The supreme master of the word NO. The teacher of good decisions. The encourager and cheer leader to all accomplishments. The dictator of the house mood. The chef to healthy and not so healthy meals. I am the heart of the household. The funny thing about mommying is that it changes everyday. Your child may go to sleep as a precious angel, but wake up with the sarcastic and sly humor of her father. Or all of the sudden she may be exhibiting my very bossy and loud mouth. While I like myself, I am not sure I like myself as a 5 year old. Each day poses a new adventure, that sometimes I am prepared for, and other times I am left to "punt." Some days all that is left is a half dressed mom, cleaning a sink full of dirty dishes!
A finisher. I have to confess, I like to procrastinate. I do my laundry and fill the basket until it over flows before I will fold. Then I spend way to much time folding that I don't have enough time to vacuum. I don't iron anything until I absolutely must. I even procrastinate the start of my day. I snooze at least twice. Then I check my email and blood sugar, watch a little news then get up. While I finish things, I admit particularly when it comes to house chores, it is always last minute. The thing about finishing is it is something incredibly important to teach your kid. I don't want to look down the road and ask myself why I didn't make it important to teach my daughter to finish. I guess sometimes finishing means washing the dishes half dressed.
A Christian. I am becoming a Christian. It is more than just saying I believe in Jesus. It is changing my life, from the inside out. It is as scripture says, " taking off the old, and putting on the new." There are days, that I don't want to love others. Other people sometimes down right hack me off. There are days I don't want to forgive, and days when I want life to be only about me. However, as I progress in my walk as a Christian, I find it easier. There is no greater freedom than that found in forgiveness. To be forgiven and to give forgiveness may be the only way to find real joy. I found the Lord whispering in my ear the other day, that life is not about the people who don't love you, but it is about how much I (God) love you. It was a profound moment. The days can sometimes be filled with haters, echos of all the things wrong with the world, and reasons why success is impossible. As a Christian, the real truth is how much God loves us. It is proven each day by the many miracles that are taken for granted and over looked. God loves all the time, even the sin marred and broken. I love that I am becoming closer, more faithful, and more complete in the hands of God.
My life is becoming........it is not perfect, it is not finished, it is an everyday adventure. I feel as though I am embarking on changes now. What is the change? Well, I don't know. I just feel as though God is working on me, and His will be done. I hope I am up for the challenge of becoming Miranda, God style!
This is my mindset, now let me hear yours!