I have worked at jobs that I have been good at but were not my true passion. I have prayed for my life to matter. I have prayed that God would use me to glorify Him. I have prayed He would grow my faith. I have prayed He would give me a servants heart. I have asked God to show me where He wants me in his plan. However, in MY answer to these requests, I imagined, becoming a speaker for Women of Faith. I always seem to make myself bigger than Him in my imagined responses to my requests. Then I catch myself and pray, Lord, please help me not to seek fame or credit, but to make my life honor you.
I blogged once about feeling passionless, in No Pinterest. I have often felt passionless. I am not a crafter, I don't have a hobby if you will. It was like a crisis of identity if you asked me what I like to do. I find it easy to list the things that I don't like doing, but I could take three days to find the things that I love to do. My attitude about many things I do is lack luster, and I have a hard time claiming to be good at anything. I have come to realization that the reason, I feel I have no passion is because up until recently, I was not considering what God wants me to do. What are the gifts He has given me, and am I using them? Some where between what God puts on my heart and what I do there is a disconnect. It may be called fear, it may be called insecurity, but it has kept me from following through. Maybe I have heard God whisper to me before, but I have not actually been brave enough to stop and listen, and accept God's calling in my heart.
"Delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4
I have been delighting in the Lord. I have been seeking him. For a change I decided to listen and follow the tugging on my heart. I mentioned in my last blog that I am now working with Kindergarten kids part time. I have to say, I had my reservations. How was I going to wake up so early? Was I going to like being in a room full of kids. I've never done anything like this, will I even be good at it? However, I was certain that God was being clear on this matter, this is what He wanted for me. I have followed him faithfully, into the scary unknown. I have been tired, but I have also felt indescribable joy from being with these kids. I love listening to their silly stories. I love listening to their prayer requests, and hearing them pray. I even love the ones that test me! Kids are the best teachers in life. They love without bounds, they say what is on their minds, they ask for help when the need it. They are truly brilliant, created by God to show us adults what we have forgotten.
The Lord has also clearly put me in another situation, also mentioned in a previous blog. I have been attending the Beauty for Ashes bible study/support group. It is a ministry for abused women. I took the class with my mother-in-law to see if we would like to be co-teachers/leaders/facilitators. I was completely blessed by God during this class. I was blessed to meet some amazing women. I was blessed by the lessons, the truth of God's word, and how He views abuse. He desires total healing for all His precious and loved children. I have a new passion after seeing the freedom found through Jesus that the women experience as a result of speaking God's truth and removing the lies of the world. It is something that can not be described. When you see a woman, who has suffered her whole life, let go and accept that she is LOVED by the almighty, it is more than words can describe. It is not only the presence of Almighty God, it is the complete and total vision of the cross. After attending the Graduation class, I feel as though God may be calling me to continue in this ministry. I don't know when or where I will find the time, BUT if this is God's will, I intend to follow him in faithful obedience. Just read the passage of scripture the class is based on below:
Isaiah 61:3
to comfort all who mourn,3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes,the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.
Who doesn't want to encourage and share the freedom found in hearing the truth about how God loves you and made you? Who doesn't want to trade in their ashes for beauty?
There it is, I have followed God and I have found joy. I have found good. It is one of the few times in my life when I have thrown caution to the wind. I have had no idea what I am doing! I have stepped out of all my familiar surroundings. I have left the comfort of "my box." I have taken a risk, and handed over the control to God. The craziest thing has happened, I have been equipped by God in ways I could never do myself. Therefore, being in His will is where I am made good at something! My conclusion, if you want to find out what you are good at, where your passion is, and what you have true joy in, find out what God is calling you to, and don't be afraid to step out and step in to HIS plan.
2Corinthians 3:5-6
5 We don’t have the right to claim that we have done anything on our own. God gives us what it takes to do all that we do. 6 He
makes us worthy to be the servants of his new agreement that comes from
the Holy Spirit and not from a written Law. After all, the Law brings
death, but the Spirit brings life.
This week I suggest letting God give you what it takes to find GOOD. This is my mindset, now let me hear yours!
This week I suggest letting God give you what it takes to find GOOD. This is my mindset, now let me hear yours!
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