Sunday, June 2, 2013
When I was a teenager I had this poster, and I loved it. The toad says, " Trust me, I swear I am a prince, just one kiss!" The poster continued with all of the stereotypical, pick up lines until, the text just faded away. This poster hung in my room until I left for college.
When I think about trust now, this poster automatically came to my mind. It was like even as a young girl I was weary of, "too good to be true." I was skeptical of almost everything. I grew up in a house where it was common practice to be "realistic", and being realistic meant that you can't expect the natural outcome to always be in your favor, or good for that matter. The house was divided: the glass was half empty on one side; and half full on the other.
As I examine my ability to trust, it is directly correlated to my ability to have faith. "Trust me," is something that has been echoing in the back of my mind. I hear God's voice telling me, "trust me, trust me." It is almost and everyday occurrence right now. It is like all of the sudden God has revealed to me that I need to trust him completely, NOT half way.
CONFESSION: I have trust issues. My husband would say,"UM, HELLO, you are just figuring that out?" He would say from the time he met me, I had to ask an opinion of anyone else, instead of just listen to him. This of course comes from the same husband who in cahoots with his father, fooled me into believing that the chubby weather man was really the Spurs Coyote mascot. After that, how could I have trouble believing him???
As far as the real world is considered, I believe that the world is filled with lies. The ruler of this world wants us to walk around thinking that the class is half empty. The thought is so flippant, we don't see the deep repercussions it actually has on our ability to trust and have faith in something unseen. It is one of the many tiny twists Satan uses to separate us from God.
You see the premise of Christianity is that Jesus came and died on the cross to save us of our sins. The fact is, we did nothing, and we continue to do nothing to deserve God's love and sacrifice. Now put it into reality, you are asking me to believe that I have done nothing to earn or deserve this wildly extravagant sacrifice, but it is mine out of love alone. Is the class half empty? or half full? TRUST ME, he says.
Here I am today, and I find myself listening to that voice. I am choosing to trust. In that act of obedience something incredible is happening. " I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." This verse has come to life in me, in a new way, all because I decided to listen to that voice saying: TRUST ME.
I have prayed many things in my life. I can see the answers of my prayers unfolding before my eyes. The answers are things that I can say, have nothing to do with my ability, but rest solely on the sovereignty and faithfulness of God's love. I have prayed for years saying: "Lord, I want to serve you, take my life and make it yours." The Lord has given me opportunities to serve.
I did not imagine that where I would serve would be so far out of my comfort zone. Beauty From Ashes ministry has blessed me, but the original thought of serving in it was outright fear. God said, "Trust me. Please sit in this room and listen to real life horror stories about how people were abused and destroyed emotionally and physically, and I will show you what to do." Then the Lord said, "I will be with you." I remember thinking, this is what I prayed for, a place to serve. God has answered my prayer, I need to see where God takes this.
God showed me that after the 12 week class and sometimes sooner, he can take the mountains that some women are carrying and HE CAN MOVE THEM. I have seen a few seasons of this class and with each class and each precious woman, I see God showing me amazing things. I not only see the changes and hope in the eyes if the those women, but he works in me too. I see that I can trust him. He is faithful and he NEVER FAILS. I find that God is showing me this scripture nearly everyday:
"..... so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."
God is moving in my life. He is filling me to HIS MEASURE, not my own. He is changing things all around me. I will be teaching pre-school in the fall. Another place, I feel He has called me to serve. I will be in a Christian school teaching about Jesus. A couple of years ago the thought of being in a classroom full of four years olds would have scared me to death. Today, I hear God saying, "Trust Me." I am not afraid, but truly excited.
I am not sure where this road is going, but I continue to hear trust me. There are other areas of my life that are churning with change, but in the moments that I feel fear creeping in, there is also now a new reaction. The new reaction is the decision to just trust God.
I loved that old toad poster, but going forward, I think I am going to trust. Don't get me wrong, I am not going to trust that toad. I am going to confidently trust my Father in heaven who has time and time again shown me in life and scripture that He is completely trustworthy. Even if I have to remind myself every now and then; or every few seconds!
This is my mindset, now let me hear yours!