Lately life seems like it has me saying things like this. It is as if all the sudden I have turned into one of my parents, walking up hill in a snowstorm to school because it made for a great lesson! Literally, I was in the grocery store, and I had to buy toilet paper, and my usual brand, Scott tissue, price had increased almost $2.00. I screamed on the inside, “What the heck!” After all, this is paper that I will literally be flushing away after one use, and it costs more than my bath soap. At least I get multiple uses from my bath soap, but don’t even get me started on how expensive soap is these days!
I guess I am in somewhat of a cantankerous mood because my house is in disarray. Yes, it would be easy to laugh this off and say, what has changed? I have never been an excellent housekeeper. I will settle, yes settle, for being an ok housekeeper. Over Labor Day, we had a pipe in our home break, and thus started a trickle down effect of things we are now doing to fix our house. While there is still a hole in the wall and some missing carpet, the toys are off the floor for now. Shoes on the other hand, have a way of creeping around. While they have a proper home in a closet or shoe basket, they some how end up all over the place.
I tell you all of this to say that this chaos has wreaked havoc in my life. I admit that I feel a little out of control and, inadequately prepared for almost everything. This only confirms my current conclusions of Proverbs 31. (I don’t know if you have read it, but it is a synopsis of what a Godly wife/woman should be.) Frankly, I think the woman described here, was either an over achiever, and or taking speed. I look at the list of noble character traits and find myself feeling like these are impossible to accomplish, and even more impossible with a happy heart. I think, if I had lived back in those times, a trip to the well would have been interesting. In my current state of mind, going to the well with a kid strapped in a papoose and water jug on my head would have only resulted in some major complaining. The well would have been the modern day coffee shop or nail place. It would be filled with women sharing the things that women share, or gossiping. I can just hear it, “Did you see Miranda, there were dirty dishes in her hut, and even more shame, her bed unmade!” While I admit that I have some real work to do in my interpretation and opinion of Proverbs 31, I know God has a reason for it. At some point, I will find joy in mopping my floors and making my bed.
It always strikes me as funny the way God works in life. I am in a bible study about the Life of David. It is called Anointed, Transformed, and Redeemed it is written by three amazing Christian women: Kay Arthur, Beth Moore, and Priscilla Shirer. This week’s lesson was about going through disappointments. Beth Moore gave many examples of situations when you expect something good, and then you get something bad. I admit that with all this chaos, I felt lucky as I read the lesson. I feel lucky, because lets face it in the middle of the chaos, I still have a roof over my head, food in my fridge, and a job. God is choosing each “stressful” situation to teach me something, and prepare me for His plans for me. While, I admit, that accepting God’s plan as oppose to my own is a hard pill to swallow, but it is ALWAYS for the best. My house is suddenly like a metaphor, what God chooses to fix first is not necessarily where I would start!
Beth Moore wrote something that was so profound to me. She wrote this:
“If we only understood that any part of us crucified in doing His will becomes a hotbed of resurrection power. Where we die to self, the Spirit of Christ is raised in us.”
While, I have heard and read verses that discuss this very subject, I don’t think they ever really sunk in. This time the big bad word OBEDIENCE came to mind. If I submit in obedience to God/ His will, then I am capable, prepared, and able to do anything. WOW! What an awesome thought! If I am obedient, then my heart will find joy in the things that myself and the world are telling me is no fun. Obedience is a scary word, I am not sure that anything in my life has been done obediently. I think that God is telling me that he is going to work on this with me. If I am being honest, the thought of working on obedience scares me! Obedience is foreign to me! I will have to trust God and see where this takes me. I will let you know after I mop my floors and make my bed just how I am feeling!