As I approach my birthday, I love that at this stage in life I am flawed but forgiven.
I am the first to point out my flaws. I will start with a memory. In college, my roommate once said to me, "Miranda I think God put me in your life to thaw your cold cold heart!" I still find this comical today, while others may cringe and say,"Ouch." I always just considered myself as being matter of fact or not taking things too personal. It is a flaw that continues to haunt me. There are times that my words and actions leave me thinking," What is the big deal?" While time and time again I am shown that my words and actions are in fact inconsiderate when they should be more personal. Unfortunately, this flaw is chronic, just when I think I have beat it, it rears its ugly head. However, sometimes not taking things to personally comes in handy, when you live across the street from your in-laws! :)
I have food issues. I can't help it. I swear that chocolate calls my name. We actually are past first base, chocolate can call me anything, honey, baby, sweet-cakes, and lets face it, I will answer. I will not only answer on the first ring, but I will whisper sweet nothings into the delicious bites of a Reeses peanut butter cup or homemade chocolate chip cookie. Chocolate has been known to pay me a bootie call, at 9:00 at night, I just have to have a bite, and then it stays on my bootie for the next six months! I will say a close second is my love of Goldfish crackers. I can eat the whole bag, which is why I buy the big box gallon size!
While I feel pretty comfortable in my skin, it is still a goofy skin. I think most times I feel like a kid trapped in this life that I can't believe is flying by in front of my eyes. I wonder what kind of example I am setting for my daughter. I open my mouth sometimes and am like, opps, did I just say that out loud? Then my four year old repeats me and tells grandma," That is freakin ridiculous," while it is funny, it is really not so funny because what four year old should say that? Y'know "freakin" is not really that attractive when anyone says it. I look at my little girl, and see some of my expressions and think," Oh dear, she is going to be a goof ball like me." Then I pray and ask God to please just give her a filter, because her daddy doesn't have one and Lord help us if we have two of them talking that way! (Yelling) BIBLE.... BIBLE! This is our code word in Sunday school when my husband has crossed the line and needs to just stop talking! Truly she has no chance with us as parents, she is bound to be opinionated and not afraid to talk about it.
In all my flaws and insecurities, I am forgiven. I love that I can accept that God forgives me no matter what my flaws maybe. He forgives me because he chooses, not because I deserve it. I love the grace in forgiveness, and the wholeness found in the unconditional love of my heavenly Father, who loves me sin marred, stained and flawed!
This is my mindset now let me hear yours!