Tuesday, January 24, 2012

The Submissive wife, something I don't do well

Submission, that word makes me cringe.  The first time I visited the church I now attend, I remember a woman gave the prayer before the offering.  She said, " Lord, please help us women to be submissive to our husbands."  Needless to say, I was like, "WHAT?  Get me out of here!"  However, the Pastor was really good and preached straight from the Bible, so I decided I could look past the crazy notion of submitting to my husband! 

The Websters definition of submission is as follows:
  • the act of being humble or compliant
  • the act of submitting to the authority or control of another
As I read the definition I laughed out loud.  Really, they might as well have said the definition was the exact opposite of Miranda! 

My husband and I had a disagreement this week, and it was on my heart that I should remember, based on the word of God, I am suppose to submit to my husband.  I went looking for advice.  I found myself having this conversation with my mother in law.  It went something like this," Will you do me a favor and take off your mother in law hat and put on your friend hat, because I need some advice." She is really good about playing multiple roles in my life: Mother-in-law, friend, boss, and grandmother to my child. " What do you do when you and my father in law just can't agree on something?"  Her response was," Eventually some one has to give in."  Her answer when my husband called to ask her advice, "Sometimes you just aren't going to be happy with everything!"  You gotta love that lady!

My husband is a wonderful man.  He works very hard so that my daughter and I can live the life that we do.  He works more than 12 hours a day, and he only has two real and regular complaints.  First, he is tired.  Second, he does not like stupid people.  When people ask why I married him, the answer is easy, he made me, and still makes me laugh.  We laugh all the time.  We have fun and genuinely enjoy each other, that is when we are not disagreeing on something.  This is where it gets tricky.  My husband and I see things in two different directions but the same destination.  Men always have trouble with directions!  (Laughing hysterically......ok fine sometimes I can't follow directions either!)

I would like to believe that the last time my husband was right about anything was when he decided to marry me; at that point he gave up his rights for me!  After all, in our wedding service, my brother the pastor, gave him some excellent advice," Happy wife, happy life, trust me I know my sister!"  My husband said I do, but He did not say I will do it your way Miranda.  Although my ears MAY have interpreted it as, "I do, I do always want to do things your way Miranda; now here have some chocolate!"  This is a great example of how I get into trouble, selective hearing!

I just can't seem to get this submissive thing down.  Just when I think I am allowing him to be heard, I am really not.  I have made up my mind and concocted a new way to sway his thinking.  The truth is, just as my mother-in-law said, some one eventually has to give in.  For the purposes of this weeks disagreement, I will not say I gave in completely, but I did change my tone.  The change in tone lead to a new understanding of each persons point of view, and a reminder we are on the same team.  Now I am left with my new definition of submission: change your tone and sell harder!

 This is my mindset, now let me hear yours!

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